Sorry it has been quite a while since my last post. Although I've wanted to keep up with my blog, I have been swamped with school, kids and the every day hassle with the lack of finances. I'm still entering those great giveaways around the blogosphere (trying to get some wins so that I can have enough Christmas gifts for my kiddos this year).
How many of you are fearing whether or not you'll be able to get the presents your kids want? How about for the things they need like clothes, shoes and other necessary, everyday items?
Let me tell you; I am so stressed out right now. My husbands been working his butt off but with only one person working in the house; it makes it pretty tough to dream. My kids have been asking for some pretty cool things for Christmas and I'm really getting depressed because I don't think that we're (my husband and I) going to afford it this year...ARGH!!!!
I am getting to the point that I don't even have "hopes" of ever getting out of this tiny, little appartment. I can't even begin to explain all of my reasons for the dispare I'm feeling.
We lost our car about 5-6 months ago (it died while picking up our girls from school last school year) and we haven't been able to save the money for a down payment. We are currently borrowing a truck from my husbands friend but I don't know how much longer that will last. The truck is guzzling every penny we earn. Now, it wouldn't be so bad if the weather wasn't constantly changing. When it rains, my husband has to leave work and drive 20 minutes to come pick up the girls (my girls have a low imune system...I don't know what causes that).
Anyways, I'm sure you're not wanting to hear my sappy story. It's irritating and I really want to vent, but I'm affraid that no one is wanting to listen. My hubby has enough on his mind trying to cover bills, feed the family and keep the roof over our heads, so venting to him is not what I have in mind. I do my best at keeping the house clean, kids feed and taken care of and making sure they all feel loved. Sometimes it's just so hard.
Do the holidays make you feel this way sometimes? Don't get me wrong...I have always loved the holidays, its just that every year we promise each other that it will be better and right when it's about to show up at our door again, we realize that it's going to be hard to do.
One more vent please; I think what gets me down the most is knowing I haven't been to a mall in so many years...I haven't had the opportunity to feel "femal-ish" and shop and when I watch these commercials on TV about the perfect gift and I hear my kids (over and over) saying, "MOMMY, I WANT THAT!!!" and I know we probably wont be able to get it for them, it kills me inside. I get so sad when I see people in our complex coming home with bags full of groceries, bags from a day of shopping at the mall on a Saturday when I haven't been out of the house in weeks (except to pick the girls up from school); that just depresses me so much.
I try not to think about what we don't have and concentrate on what we do, but it's hard...it's really hard.
Anyways, I'm sure you've heard enough of my groveling...thanks for reading, just knowing that some one may be reading this post makes me feel a bit better (like someone let me cry on their "virtual" shoulders (LOL).
Thanks for reading, I'll be in a more upbeat mood tomorrow (I hope) :)